Translation: This is what they really mean.

With all the double speak, and Washington rhetoric, I thought I would put my interpreting skills to use to decipher some of the latest and greatest quotes coming form our latest and greatest leader’s.  Yes I am fluent in liberal, so these are extremely accurate translations:

Sen. Barbara Mikulski, D-Md:

 ”Economy, economy, economy”

Translation:  Raising taxes on citizens and businesses, more government control/take over of private companies, re-distribution of wealth and more government programs.

 Sen. Bob Casey, D-Pa.

“We need a jobs bill. We need short-term, focused strategies to create jobs, real fast,” “If the dominant message isn’t about jobs and spending, we’ll be making a difficult challenge exponentially more difficult.”

Translation:  We need to spend more money.  We need another stimulus package, with some benefits starting a year or two after we implement the stimulus.  We can use fabricated numbers again and lie about the jobs created, and change our original wording from “jobs created” to “jobs saved”.  Just like we did here.

Obama:

“The same thing that swept Scott Brown into office swept me into office. People are angry, and they’re frustrated. Not just because of what’s happened in the last year or two years, but what’s happened over the last eight years,” Obama told ABC in an interview.

Translation:  The same thing that swept Scott Brown into office swept me into office. People are angry, and they’re frustrated. I should also add that in addition to the anger and frustration, there were plenty of lies I told:   I promised we would be a transparent administration, I would be bipartisan in my efforts, I would leave old Washington politics behind, I will be in charge of an administration that will promote unity.  I must admit that my time as president brought the country even further apart.  This is why I must continue to blame the Bush administration for my failures and broken promises, I am like every other politician, I can not, and will not take responsibility for my failures.  No, I will abdicate it, and blame Bush.  That’s what we do.  Also, let’s be completely honest.  If American Idol wasn’t on now, and Coakley was just a little bit more of an exciting candidate, a lot of the people watching American Idol would have come out to vote for her.  They didn’t feel like they were going to be “a part of something big!”  There was no need for the hippies to be involved in the Massachusetts election.

AxelRod: 

“It’s not an option to walk away from a problem that is only going to get worse”

Translation:  We can’t say “ObamaCare is dead, we need to present a front, even if there are plenty of Senator’s and those in the Congress that are running as far as they can from Health Care Reform now.  It doesn’t matter at all that Pelosi says she doesn’t have the votes for it.  Never mind that the majority of the US citizens are against the bill as well, we have never been one to listen to the people, we have an agenda to pass, and that is what is important! 

Obama:

In a year of hopping from crisis to crisis, he told ABC News, “we lost some of that sense of speaking directly to the American people about what their core values are and why we have to make sure those institutions are matching up with those values.”

Translation:  In a year of hopping from crisis to crisis, we have talked directly to the American people, in fact we have talked to them more times on national TV than any other President, all with in my first year.  I could really care less about any of the core values of Americans.  Yes, I know that the majority of them dislike Democrats ideas for Health Care Reform, but like my main man AxelRod said in the paragraph above ”we have an agenda to pass.”

Al Fraken:

 “one way or the other” a health care reform bill will pass Congress.”

Translation:  Since we have no chance of passing health care in a legitimate and bipartisan fashion, we will do it ”the other way”.  RAM IT DOWN YOUR THROATS AMERICA.  We’ve got three choices. 1)  We can pass the bill quick before Brown is seated, 2) We can approve the senate version of the bill, of course the House would have to vote on this, and that is unlikely to pass, 3)  reconciliation, the nuclear option, we would only need 50 votes for this option. 

Sorry Al, You are just blowing smoke.  Very unlikely any of those will be implimented.  Try it.  I hope you are prepared for the anger of the American people.  Which is already burning bright, this will add more fuel for the fire.  

I hope the translations have been informative and entertaining for you.  Good night.

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Priorities

Probably Not That Important

A few months back, I was attending a local Tea Party rally where folks from the crowd were invited to speak to the crowd.  It was a typical Tea Party rally, with speakers upset about the direction our government was taking, etc.  And then, someone mentioned “illegal immigration”, and you would’ve thought Billy Graham had gotten on national TV to recite the “Gonna Get Medieval” scene from “Pulp Fiction”.

And then, one of the attendees shouted something that has stuck with me ever since…   well, as much as my memory can stick with something.  I’ll paraphrase: “Illegal Immigration is not why we’re here.  It’s an important issue, but we need to stay focused on what we’re here for: our government is irresponsibly spending trillions of our dollars, and we are here to stand up against it.”  The message was simple, clear, and effective: stay focused.

Too bad the GOP has, as of yet, not figured this one out.

Let’s start, for instance, with Congressman Joe Barton (R-TX).  Now, while I’ll give him credit for being a fellow sim and strategy gamer, the man recently decided to head down another path.  While our nation is sharply divided over issues like war, health care, and out-of-control spending, Joe Barton has decided the critical issue of the day is none other than the College Football BCS system, and while it’s certainly OK to want to replace the BCS with a playoff system (this is probably one of the few things I actually agree with Chairman Zero on), one would think that our elected officials have more important things to worry about right now.  And yeah – that includes you, too, Orrin Hatch.  Yeah…  the establishment of a single-elimination 16-team tournament, with conference champions taking up most spots, followed by at-large bids selected from the top-20 ranked teams that aren’t conference champions that take place over a 4-week period beginning the 2nd weekend in December, or thereabouts, just doesn’t seem as important in the grand scheme of things.

And it’s not all about football, folks.

Let’s go back to the Health Insurance Takeover Debate…  you know, the one that includes an unfunded mandate from the Federal Government requiring you to buy health insurance – or else?  This past week, the Republicans tried their best to team up with Ben Nelson of Nebraska (go Huskers) to remove abortion coverage from Obamacare.  They failed, and now Nelson’s backing down on his threat to join the GOP filibuster.  And now we’re being told that it’s a good and moral thing to force taxpayers to fund the limitless murder of unborn babies whose only crime is being inconvenient.  And as much as I utterly deplore this practice – as disgusting and selfish and hateful as the practice of abortion is and as much as I despise the fact that our elected officials will try to use my money to fund this utter evil, there’s one point I’ve got to make…

Abortion is not the issue.

It is AN issue and yes, it should be combated through all legal means…  but the issue at hand, folks, is the unconstitutional government takeover of the Health Insurance Industry.  Abortion will cost us lives…   Obamacare will cost us our future.  THAT is where our focus must remain, and that is where we must direct those who would hope to be our conservative leaders.

Are you listening, Grand Old Party?  We love that you’re working against abortion, but there’s a bigger problem you need to deal with, aggressively.  Our futures depend on you focusing on what’s really important to the American people…

And the Bowl Championship Series simply doesn’t qualify.

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Civility and Insolence

And hits keep on coming.

This weekend, the Washington Post dedicated a front-page article to how mean, evil, and discourteous conservatives are.

Which conservatives?

Michelle Malkin, for one.  Her crime?  She sent an e-mail to Charise Carney-Nunes regarding the now-infamous video of children singing the “Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm” song in praise of Barack Hussein Obama.  Her e-mail included such loaded, hateful, and mean questions as “did you write the song”, “did you teach about your book”, and “how well do you know the President”.  In a hateful huff, she concluded with that most hideous of closings, “Thank you for your time”.

Glenn Beck, of course, for his promotion of ideas like “America is good”, “I believe in God”, and “I have a right to disagree with the government when it’s being stupid”.  Obviously, this is just rabble-rousing and hate.

And can we forget the most hateful, mean, and evil of conservatives: Rush Limbaugh, whose eeeeeeeeeevil plans now extend to potential ownership of a National Football League team, which is intuitively obvious to the most casual of observers simply part of a larger plan to take over the world and drown the poor, elderly, and defenseless in giant vats of Alaskan crude while sucking down cigars and chuckling at his collection of racist literature.

Sweet.

Zombie.

L.

Ron.

Hubbard.

OK.  I know I’m just a simple idjut from the backwoods of the Fruited Plain, but I guess it’s time for an education.  Washington Post?  Lefties?  Pull up a chair, pull out your notepads and pencils, and shut the fark up.  Adults are about to speak.

First – calling Michelle Malkin, Glenn Beck, or Rush Limbaugh anything only serves to widen this divide you keep spouting off about.  When people are upset with your side’s ability to completely mismanage the nation, it’s not because they’re mean or divisive – it’s because you’re mismanaging the nation.  These people – myself included – speak out of love.  We love America and what she represents.  We love our families and kids and work and hope for the best future possible for them.  We love our lives and our families and want to make sure that we’re able to support them.

Mooooooooooo.

Second – calling them hateful, mean, etc. is 100% bull, and you damned well know it.  There’s actually a better word for what’s happening here: projection.  If you don’t believe, go to a quick look-up on the history of how liberals have behaved towards conservatives.  How about when Town Hall protester William Rice got his FREAKING FINGER BITTEN OFF?  Or all the hate mail that Michelle receives on a daily basis, usually filled with comments about her race or her gender.

And no – it’s not limited just to charged events or nationally recognized columnists.  How about when the late lefty Steve Gilliard posted his now-infamous Michael Steele photo that he hand-doctored in act that Gilliard himself associated with his “complete and utter contempt” for black conservatives?  Think it’s history?  Think again.  Sorry, kids – there’s a long line of history that says that the attacks by the left on the right are routinely more vicious, hateful, racist, sexist, and any other -ist you want to list than any attack on the left by the right.

Why?  It’s simple: conservatives care about issues.  We care about facts.  We care about things that flow on a logical course from point a to point z.  We care about history.

Liberals, on the other hand, care about feelings.  The thought that someone may use, say, actual numbers to prove that the ideas of the left simply won’t hold water makes the members of the left feel “icky” – and so they project their own hatred, fear, and negativity onto members of the right.  They use terms like “racist” and “sexist” without having any real concept of what those terms are or why it came to be that certain ideas actually are “racist” and “sexist”.  They just see a dark-skinned President, fall in love with him, and then presume that any attack on him must be because of his skin color because, dammit, that’s what made THEM love him in the first place.

And then conservatives go and use things like “math” and ask unpleasant questions like “how do you intend to pay for this”.  They look at things like “history” and say “you know, the last 57 times socialism was tried, it ended in disaster for the nations that tried it”.  They look at things like “the Constitution” and say “your czars are not behaving in a manner that’s in line with the constitution”

Yeah.  That’s all that “hate” stuff.

You want to “restore” civility to the national political discussion, members of the left?  Then stop being uncivil.  Conservatives have played very nice, so far.  Our rallies have consistently been forums of peaceful, vociferous disagreement with policy.  Yours have consistently been violent, destructive, and costly.  Conservatives have shouted “You Lie” at the President.  Liberals shouted for Bush’s head on a platter.

So the next time you lefties call for conservatives to be more civil in their discourse, why don’t you check your own eye for a plank before talking about the speck in ours?

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As Promised… Recess Rally Photos (+1)

I’ve posted pics at Flickr.

Oh – and my poster read “Socialized Medicine is Government Proctology”, and it included a poster that I created for a Michelle Malkin contest (that received some pretty positive responses).  I included that picture below.

Rosie the Proctologist got some smiles.

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Rally Time!!! – UPDATED

Today is the day!  August 22, 2009!  Go find yourself a Recess Rally and make your voice heard!

I’ll be posting (hopefully live) from the one I’m attending in Greensboro, NC.  Hope to see you there!

UPDATE: Had a great time.  We had some pretty strong thunderstorms right before the rally, but the weather cleared up right at 12:00, and the rally got underway.  The crowd was held to pretty low numbers due to the weather (only about 200-300 folks showed up, compared to the last event), but it ended up being a great gathering with a lot of great points.

The biggest point we conservatives need to take away: keep focused on the important issues.  Don’t be distracted by the noise, the clutter, and the side issues.  Immigration, etc. – these are IMPORTANT – but they are not the central point we need to focus on.  We need to be focused on the simple argument: constitutional liberty vs. statist tyranny.

I’ll post pictures later.

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