Young Minds Full of Mush: Our Corrupt Education System

Very few things get my ire up more than our educational system here in the United States.  “Oh, but Mr. Elephant”, you say, actually believing my first name is “Annoyed”, “teachers are wooooooonderful….  and don’t you know that I believe the children are our future…?” Silly person.  Sit down and let Mr. Elephant educate you, [...]

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Skittles, Iced Tea, and Stupidity

For two months now, all we’ve heard is how an evil white guy in Florida gunned down a poor, innocent black kid in cold blood, and I’m sick of it. I’ve spoken out on this on Facebook and message boards quite a bit, but it’s time to lay everything out, both in terms of understanding [...]

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Attention Conservatives: Stop Being Stupid

As anyone who’s read this blog over the past few years (including the desert years of 2009-2011) knows, I’m more than happy to hold those on the left accountable for their idiocy and to call them to task for being…  well…  illogical and willfully stupid.  And so, some people may think that my laser beam [...]

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The Irrational War on Tea

Sometimes, you just can’t help laughing at the state of affairs in the world.  Laughter helps the world go ’round.  It also distracts my brain from its deep-seeded desire to eat its way out of the back of my skull for having been exposed to the ongoing theater of the absurd that is the war [...]

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Obama Preemptively Surrenders in Nuclear War

And to think, all the Soviet Union would’ve had to do is to wait.  Yesterday, the cocaine-snorting communist announced that he would not respond with nuclear arms, even if attacked by an enemy WITH nuclear arms. No, our Commander-in-Chief would rather save our massive nuclear stockpile for such large-scale nuclear assaults by nations like Iran [...]

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AP Fact Check on the State of the Union

Here is a link to the fact check list.

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Translation: This is what they really mean.

With all the double speak, and Washington rhetoric, I thought I would put my interpreting skills to use to decipher some of the latest and greatest quotes coming form our latest and greatest leader’s.  Yes I am fluent in liberal, so these are extremely accurate translations: Sen. Barbara Mikulski, D-Md:  ”Economy, economy, economy” Translation:  Raising [...]

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The Unexpected Recession

January 21, 2010: Jobless claims “unexpectedly” rise. January 14, 201o: Retail sales drop “unexpectedly”. December 10, 2009: Jobless claims “unexpectedly” rise. October 28, 2009: New home sales “unexpectedly tumble. October 2, 2009: Jobless claims rose “higher than forecast”. August 20, 2009: Jobless claims “unexpectedly” rise. June 25, 2009: Jobless claims “unexpectedly” rise. And now for [...]

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Why RINO Hunts Aren’t Always Good Ideas

I’ll be the first to admit my own distaste for RINO’s – Republicans in Name Only, those politicians who slap an elephant next to their name and present themselves as the conservative choice when the reality is that they’re really just moderates who needed a party to run for office.  And yeah, I’ll say it [...]

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Sticks and Stones and Massachusetts

Andy Borowitz, the latest liberal to spew forth a masterpiece, like this: BOSTON (The Borowitz Report) – Firing up voters on the eve of the special election to fill the late Edward M. Kennedy’s Senate seat, Republican candidate Scott Brown spoke at a campaign rally today, proclaiming, “With your help, our dream of depriving millions of [...]

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